Plans in Motion to Provide “Home for the Sexiled” Facilities On-Campus

0
189

For years one of St. Mary’s top concerns when it comes to housing has gone unaddressed: the fate of the sexiled. Students in traditional dorm housing have long dreaded receiving the late-Saturday-night text from a roommate: “lol i met sum1 @ WC, don’t come in the room for a cpl hrs”—or simply coming back from the bathroom to find symbolic warnings waiting for them (whether it be a sock on the door handle or a crudely drawn dick with an exclamation point on the whiteboard.)

Few viable options remain to these unfortunate students: Invite yourself into a friend’s room for a spontaneous sleepover? Sleep on the floor of that one friend whose roommate left last semester, because sure they have two beds now but they pushed them together to make their own California King? Form a nest out of the forgotten socks left in the laundry room? The last at least offers the comforting warmth of the dryers.

But that’s all changing. Over summer break of 2015, Residence Life will be working in conjunction with student-run charity organizations like Habitat for Humanity to build what will be known as the “St. Mary’s Home for the Sexiled”.

Building will commence on the unused green space in between Montgomery Hall and Glendenning. After careful consideration by a joint committee of SGA officials and administrators, this location was chosen because of its equidistance to the traditional dorms and North Campus housing, as well as the nearby ARC accessibility—patrons of the Home will be able to use gym showers to wipe off the tears of frustration and shame.

The new Home hopes to be a sustainably built structure, but also one designed for efficiency of space—preliminary designs are being modeled after Japanese capsule hotels. Students in need can find their way to the Home, swipe in with their One Card, and crawl into their own little sleeping hole. Hot chocolate and snacks will be provided (for students with corresponding meal plans.) Collections from alumni will hopefully cover the planned cost of a joint Netflix account for the entire Home, so that the sexiled may stream House of Cards or maybe a nice Pixar movie to distract themselves on those cold lonely nights.

Keep your eyes and ears open for the latest developments. The new Sexiled facilities are high on the list of priorities for administration and SGA, right behind Meatless Mondays, installing A/C in Queen Anne and Dorch, and instituting the new on-campus Chipotle. I’m sure as soon as those projects are completed successfully, construction will start any day now.

NO COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY